- 用中文道歉与“面子”（面子，miànzi）这一观念密切相关——面子指一个人在所处群体中的社会地位和道德声誉。
- The most common ways to say sorry range from casual (不好意思, bùhǎoyìsi) to serious (对不起, duìbuqǐ) and formal (抱歉, bàoqiàn), and choosing the right one depends on the situation.
- In Chinese culture, the order and manner of an apology matter as much as the words, and in a serious or formal apology a polite greeting usually comes first.
- Chinese idioms (成语, chéngyǔ) and formal set phrases give you a weightier way to ask for forgiveness when the situation is serious or sensitive.
To say sorry in Chinese, use 不好意思 (bùhǎoyìsi) for small slips and 对不起 (duìbuqǐ) when you have really done something wrong, and save 抱歉 (bàoqiàn) for more formal apologies. Which one fits depends on how serious the mistake is and who you are talking to, because "face" is at stake on both sides.
Below, we look at how "face" shapes an apology in China and which phrases to use, including how to answer when someone apologizes to you. For anyone looking to learn Chinese in China or understand Chinese social etiquette, apologies are worth getting right early on.
01 理解中文里的“对不起”
China is a diverse country with 56 recognized ethnic groups. Most Chinese words and customs involving forgiveness and saying sorry will be similar no matter where you go. That said, due to China's cultural and ethnic diversity, you should also be prepared to encounter some regional differences.
面子，即“Miànzi”
"Face" (面子, miànzi) is a term that is often used when discussing Chinese social etiquette. Understanding "face" explains much of the "how" and "why" of apologies in China.
不过，中国人的面子观念起初可能不太好理解。作家鲁迅曾把“面子”描述为一个越想越让人糊涂的概念，很好地道出了它的复杂。
中文里的“面子”通常指一个人在个人生活和职业生涯中所积累的声望或道德地位，象征着一个人凭借良好的品德口碑在所处群体中赢得的尊重。
谈到“面子”，通常会涉及三个相关的概念：
| 中文 | 拼音 | 含义 |
|---|---|---|
| 面子 | 一个人的社会地位、名声，以及所受到的尊重。 | |
| 给面子 | 给面子——在别人面前称赞某人，从而提升其名声或社会地位。这种称赞应当真诚，有时还会配上一份中国礼物。 | |
| 丢面子 | 丢面子——指某些有意或无意的行为让人难堪或蒙羞。 |
谈到中国语境中的面子，另一个重要的词是要面子（yào miànzi）。这个词很难直接译成英文，大致是指特别看重保全面子、讲究体面的人。对这类人来说，任何丢面子的事都会被视为严重的冒犯。
"Face" is an integral part of Chinese culture, and you need to understand it if you want to become skilled at apologizing in Chinese.
何时说“对不起”
下面是人们通常会用中文道歉的一些常见场景。不用说，这并不是全部。
当一个人感到尴尬时。在尴尬的场面之后说声“对不起”，就像英语里说“excuse me”，也能让对方不至于丢面子。
当一个人想对别人表示同情时。这是表达共情和关怀的礼貌举动，与西方文化中表示慰问的做法十分相似。
当一个人打断或打扰了别人时。因为占用了别人的时间而道歉，是很常见的。
当一个人犯了错时。此时道歉能让犯错的人挽回面子和声誉。
When saying "sorry" in Chinese, the order and manner of the apology matter as much as the words. In a serious or formal apology, a polite greeting usually comes first, and in sensitive situations a little context before the apology helps too. A quick "excuse me" before asking a stranger something is different, and starting with that is normal.
02 中文“对不起”的几种说法
了解文化背景，分清哪些场合需要道歉，是学习如何用中文说“对不起”的第一步。这两点弄清楚之后，我们来看看几种道歉的说法，以及该如何回应别人的道歉。
不好意思 (bùhǎoyìsi)
这是中文里最常用的道歉用语，比下面列出的其他说法更随意，多用于为小错误道歉。除了“抱歉”之外，这个词还有“尴尬”的意思，这也不难理解，毕竟犯点小错确实挺让人尴尬的。口语里，不好意思（bùhǎoyìsi）可以理解为“我的错！”它也是每个学习者都应该掌握的中文基础词汇之一。
例句：
不好意思，我的中文不太好。
Bùhǎoyìsi, wǒ de Zhōngwén bù tài hǎo.
Sorry, my Chinese isn't very good.
对不起 (duìbuqǐ)
This phrase is generally translated as "sorry" in English, but a better, more direct translation is "cannot face [you] / I'm in the wrong toward you." It is a very commonly used phrase in Chinese, but is used for real mistakes rather than small slips.
例句：
实在对不起，我忘了你的名字。
Shízài duìbuqǐ, wǒ wàng le nǐ de míngzi.
I'm so sorry, I've forgotten your name.
在中国文化中，名字有着重要的文化分量。忘记别人的名字可能会让对方没面子，所以在这种情况下，用对不起（duìbuqǐ）比用更随意的不好意思（bùhǎoyìsi）更合适。
抱歉 (bàoqiàn)
这个词可以理解为“诚恳地道歉”。字面意思是“怀着歉意”，通常用来表达说话人对所道歉的事情感到愧疚。它适用于正式场合，比如向上级、主管或老师道歉。
例句：
抱歉，我今天不能来上班。
Bàoqiàn, wǒ jīntiān bù néng lái shàngbān.
非常抱歉，我今天不能来上班了。
是我的错（shì wǒ de cuò）
This is a short, direct phrase that can be translated as "it's my fault." It is used to admit to making a mistake. Using this phrase is a great way to save face while taking responsibility for one's actions.
例句：
是我的错，我忘了提醒你要开会了。
Shì wǒ de cuò, wǒ wàng le tíxǐng nǐ yào kāihuì le.
是我的错，我忘了提醒你开会的事。
如何回应道歉
下面这些短语都可以用来回应道歉，正式程度上没有区别，可以互换使用。
Remember, if someone is apologizing to you, you have an opportunity to help them save face. Refusing an apology can cost the person who offered it some face, so in China people tend to accept apologies graciously. When someone accepts your apology, a thank-you is the natural reply, and there are many ways to say thank you in Chinese.
| 中文 | 拼音 | 翻译 |
|---|---|---|
| 没关系 | 没关系 | |
| 没事 | 没事 | |
| 不要紧 | 不要紧 | |
| 别在意 | 别担心 |
03 用中文成语表达歉意
中文里有丰富的成语（成语，chéngyǔ），能体现单个汉字背后深厚的历史与文化内涵。成语是固定的习惯表达，通常由四个字组成。
Since most idioms are rooted in classical Chinese, they express meanings that are often not predictable from the modern meaning of each specific character. Below are two Chinese idioms and one formal set phrase that can either be used directly to apologize or to ask for forgiveness.
高抬贵手 (gāotái guìshǒu)
宽宏大量；宽厚待人；不过分苛责别人。
高抬贵手（gāotái guìshǒu）的字面意思是“抬起你高贵的手”。通常用来向地位比自己高的人请求原谅，甚至是宽恕。由于带有一点恭维的意味，这是一个很好的成语，可以用来给你道歉的对象“面子”。
例句：
高抬贵手，放过我。
Gāotái guìshǒu, fàngguò wǒ.
Please be generous and let me off.
深感歉意 (shēn gǎn qiànyì)
深感悔恨。
This one is a formal set phrase rather than a classical idiom, and its meaning is similar to the word 抱歉 (bàoqiàn) discussed above. The main difference between the two is that 深感歉意 (shēn gǎn qiànyì) sounds more formal and sophisticated, while 抱歉 (bàoqiàn) is less formal and more commonly used. Using 深感歉意 (shēn gǎn qiànyì) is particularly effective in formal or serious situations.
例句：
我不小心碰到了您的车，深感歉意。
Wǒ bù xiǎoxīn pèngdào le nín de chē, shēn gǎn qiànyì.
I accidentally bumped your car. Please accept my sincere apologies.
不计前嫌 (bùjì qiánxián)
不计前嫌；既往不咎；让过去的事过去。
这个成语用来请求对方原谅自己过去的过错。
例句：
我希望你不计前嫌。
Wǒ xīwàng nǐ bùjì qiánxián.
希望你能不计较我过去的过错。
在对话中使用成语，能给母语者留下深刻印象，也体现出更高的语言流利度。不过，这些表达源自古代汉语，更适合中级或高级学习者。如果你刚刚起步，建议先掌握不好意思和对不起，等基础更扎实后再学习成语。想了解更多，请参阅我们的完整指南：汉语成语。
04 中文道歉常用词汇
The following vocabulary will help you apologize in Chinese with more confidence. For a broader introduction to the romanization system used throughout this article, see our guide to pinyin.
| 中文 | 拼音 | 翻译 |
|---|---|---|
| 不好意思 | 打扰一下 / 我的错（非正式） | |
| 对不起 | Sorry (for a real mistake) | |
| 抱歉 | Sorry; I apologize (more formal) | |
| 是我的错 | 是我的错 | |
| 没关系 | 没关系 | |
| 没事 | 没事 | |
| 不要紧 | 不要紧 | |
| 别在意 | 别担心 | |
| 面子 | 面子（社会地位） | |
| 给面子 | 给面子 | |
| 丢面子 | 丢面子 | |
| 要面子 | 爱面子 | |
| 高抬贵手 | 大度 / 高抬贵手 | |
| 深感歉意 | 深感悔恨 | |
| 不计前嫌 | 既往不咎 | |
| 成语 | 成语（四字短语） |
05 来桂林了解更多
了解中国文化种种细微之处的最佳途径，是掌握中文本身；而一份扎实的中文学习计划能让这个目标更容易实现。如果你还在犹豫要不要开始学习，可以看看我们的为什么要学习中文指南，里面介绍了流利掌握中文能给个人生活和职业发展带来的诸多好处。
We invite you to learn Chinese in China with CLI's expert teachers in Guilin or online for in-depth, individualized Chinese classes that teach you the language and the etiquette that goes with it.