- Apologizing in Chinese is closely tied to the concept of "face" (面子, miànzi) — a person's social standing and moral reputation within their community.
- The most common ways to say sorry range from casual (不好意思, bùhǎoyìsi) to serious (对不起, duìbuqǐ) and formal (抱歉, bàoqiàn), and choosing the right one depends on the situation.
- In Chinese culture, the order and manner of an apology matter as much as the words, and in a serious or formal apology a polite greeting usually comes first.
- Chinese idioms (成语, chéngyǔ) and formal set phrases give you a weightier way to ask for forgiveness when the situation is serious or sensitive.
To say sorry in Chinese, use 不好意思 (bùhǎoyìsi) for small slips and 对不起 (duìbuqǐ) when you have really done something wrong, and save 抱歉 (bàoqiàn) for more formal apologies. Which one fits depends on how serious the mistake is and who you are talking to, because "face" is at stake on both sides.
Below, we look at how "face" shapes an apology in China and which phrases to use, including how to answer when someone apologizes to you. For anyone looking to learn Chinese in China or understand Chinese social etiquette, apologies are worth getting right early on.
01 Interpreting "Sorry" in Chinese
China is a diverse country with 56 recognized ethnic groups. Most Chinese words and customs involving forgiveness and saying sorry will be similar no matter where you go. That said, due to China's cultural and ethnic diversity, you should also be prepared to encounter some regional differences.
Face, or "Miànzi"
"Face" (面子, miànzi) is a term that is often used when discussing Chinese social etiquette. Understanding "face" explains much of the "how" and "why" of apologies in China.
However, the Chinese concept of face can be difficult to understand at first. The Chinese writer Lu Xun captured its complexity well when he described "face" as a concept that grows more confusing the more you think about it.
The concept of "face" in Chinese generally stands for the prestige or moral standing one has achieved throughout one's personal and professional life. It symbolizes the respect one has earned from one's community as a result of one's good moral reputation.
Discussions of "face" typically include three related concepts:
| Chinese | Pinyin | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| 面子 | A person's social standing, reputation, and the respect they command. | |
| 给面子 | Giving face — praising someone in front of their peers, thus lifting the individual's reputation or social status. This praise should be sincere and can sometimes be accompanied with a Chinese gift. | |
| 丢面子 | Losing face — describes what happens when specific intentional or unintentional actions cause embarrassment or bring shame to an individual. |
Another important word that's used when talking about face in the Chinese context is 要面子 (yào miànzi). This term is difficult to translate directly into English, but in general, it refers to someone who is particularly keen on saving face or on keeping up appearances. For these people, any loss of face is considered a serious affront.
"Face" is an integral part of Chinese culture, and you need to understand it if you want to become skilled at apologizing in Chinese.
When to Say "Sorry"
Below are some common situations when an individual would typically want to apologize in Chinese. Needless to say, this is not an exhaustive list.
When an individual is embarrassed about something. Saying sorry after an awkward or embarrassing situation is like saying "excuse me" in English. It also prevents the other person from losing face.
When an individual wants to express sympathy for someone. This is a polite gesture to show empathy and compassion, very similar to how condolences are used in Western culture.
When an individual has interrupted or bothered someone. It's common to apologize for taking up someone's time.
When an individual has made a mistake. Apologizing here represents an opportunity for the person who made the mistake to save face and reputation.
When saying "sorry" in Chinese, the order and manner of the apology matter as much as the words. In a serious or formal apology, a polite greeting usually comes first, and in sensitive situations a little context before the apology helps too. A quick "excuse me" before asking a stranger something is different, and starting with that is normal.
02 Ways to Say "Sorry" in Chinese
Understanding the cultural context and identifying which situations call for apologies are the first steps to learning how to say sorry in Chinese. Now that we've got these two aspects down, let's examine several ways to apologize — and how to respond to an apology.
不好意思 (bùhǎoyìsi)
This is the most commonly used apologetic phrase in Chinese. It is more casual than the other phrases listed below and is most often used to apologize for minor mistakes. In addition to "sorry," this phrase also means "embarrassing," which makes sense since committing minor mistakes can be an embarrassing experience. Colloquially, 不好意思 (bùhǎoyìsi) can be translated as "my bad!" It's one of the basic Chinese words that every learner should know.
Example:
不好意思，我的中文不太好。
Bùhǎoyìsi, wǒ de Zhōngwén bù tài hǎo.
Sorry, my Chinese isn't very good.
对不起 (duìbuqǐ)
This phrase is generally translated as "sorry" in English, but a better, more direct translation is "cannot face [you] / I'm in the wrong toward you." It is a very commonly used phrase in Chinese, but is used for real mistakes rather than small slips.
Example:
实在对不起，我忘了你的名字。
Shízài duìbuqǐ, wǒ wàng le nǐ de míngzi.
I'm so sorry, I've forgotten your name.
In Chinese culture, names carry significant cultural weight. Forgetting someone's name can cause them to lose face, so using 对不起 (duìbuqǐ) rather than the more casual 不好意思 (bùhǎoyìsi) is appropriate in this situation.
抱歉 (bàoqiàn)
This word can be translated as "to sincerely apologize." Its literal meaning is "to hold regret," and it is generally used to express that the speaker feels regretful about whatever it is they are apologizing for. It should be used in formal situations, for example, if apologizing to an authority figure, supervisor, or teacher.
Example:
抱歉，我今天不能来上班。
Bàoqiàn, wǒ jīntiān bù néng lái shàngbān.
My apologies, I am not able to come to work today.
是我的错 (shì wǒ de cuò)
This is a short, direct phrase that can be translated as "it's my fault." It is used to admit to making a mistake. Using this phrase is a great way to save face while taking responsibility for one's actions.
Example:
是我的错，我忘了提醒你要开会了。
Shì wǒ de cuò, wǒ wàng le tíxǐng nǐ yào kāihuì le.
It's my fault, I forgot to remind you about the meeting.
Responding to an Apology
Below is a list of phrases that are used to respond to an apology. These phrases are interchangeable in their level of formality.
Remember, if someone is apologizing to you, you have an opportunity to help them save face. Refusing an apology can cost the person who offered it some face, so in China people tend to accept apologies graciously. When someone accepts your apology, a thank-you is the natural reply, and there are many ways to say thank you in Chinese.
| Chinese | Pinyin | Translation |
|---|---|---|
| 没关系 | It's okay | |
| 没事 | It's all right | |
| 不要紧 | Never mind | |
| 别在意 | No worries |
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03 Saying Sorry with Chinese Idioms
The Chinese language is rich with Chinese idioms (成语, chéngyǔ) that can be used to express the deeper historical and cultural context behind individual Chinese characters. Chinese idioms are idiomatic expressions that usually consist of four characters.
Since most idioms are rooted in classical Chinese, they express meanings that are often not predictable from the modern meaning of each specific character. Below are two Chinese idioms and one formal set phrase that can either be used directly to apologize or to ask for forgiveness.
高抬贵手 (gāotái guìshǒu)
To be magnanimous; to be generous; to not be too hard on somebody.
The literal meaning of 高抬贵手 (gāotái guìshǒu) is "raise your noble hand." It is generally used to ask someone of higher status than the speaker for forgiveness or even mercy. Since it contains an element of flattery, this is a great idiom to use to give face to the person to whom you are apologizing.
Example:
高抬贵手，放过我。
Gāotái guìshǒu, fàngguò wǒ.
Please be generous and let me off.
深感歉意 (shēn gǎn qiànyì)
To feel deep regret.
This one is a formal set phrase rather than a classical idiom, and its meaning is similar to the word 抱歉 (bàoqiàn) discussed above. The main difference between the two is that 深感歉意 (shēn gǎn qiànyì) sounds more formal and sophisticated, while 抱歉 (bàoqiàn) is less formal and more commonly used. Using 深感歉意 (shēn gǎn qiànyì) is particularly effective in formal or serious situations.
Example:
我不小心碰到了您的车，深感歉意。
Wǒ bù xiǎoxīn pèngdào le nín de chē, shēn gǎn qiànyì.
I accidentally bumped your car. Please accept my sincere apologies.
不计前嫌 (bùjì qiánxián)
To disregard past grudges; to forgive and forget; let bygones be bygones.
This idiom is used to ask for forgiveness for past mistakes.
Example:
我希望你不计前嫌。
Wǒ xīwàng nǐ bùjì qiánxián.
I hope you can disregard my past mistakes.
Using idioms in conversation is a great way to impress native speakers and demonstrate a deeper level of fluency. However, because these expressions are rooted in classical Chinese, they are best reserved for intermediate or advanced learners. If you're just starting out, focus on mastering 不好意思 and 对不起 first, and explore idioms once you have a stronger foundation. For a broader list, see our full guide to Chinese idioms.
04 Vocabulary for Saying Sorry in Chinese
The following vocabulary will help you apologize in Chinese with more confidence. For a broader introduction to the romanization system used throughout this article, see our guide to pinyin.
| Chinese | Pinyin | Translation |
|---|---|---|
| 不好意思 | Excuse me / my bad (casual) | |
| 对不起 | Sorry (for a real mistake) | |
| 抱歉 | Sorry; I apologize (more formal) | |
| 是我的错 | It's my fault | |
| 没关系 | It's okay | |
| 没事 | It's all right | |
| 不要紧 | Never mind | |
| 别在意 | No worries | |
| 面子 | Face (social standing) | |
| 给面子 | To give face | |
| 丢面子 | To lose face | |
| 要面子 | To be keen on saving face | |
| 高抬贵手 | To be magnanimous / raise your noble hand | |
| 深感歉意 | To feel deep regret | |
| 不计前嫌 | To let bygones be bygones | |
| 成语 | Chinese idiom (four-character expression) |
05 Come to Guilin and Learn More
The best way to understand the cultural intricacies of China is by mastering the Chinese language itself, and having a solid Chinese study plan makes that goal far more achievable. If you're still on the fence about beginning your studies, our guide to why learn Chinese explores the many personal and professional benefits that come with fluency.
We invite you to learn Chinese in China with CLI's expert teachers in Guilin or online for in-depth, individualized Chinese classes that teach you the language and the etiquette that goes with it.